Subjective binge

Normally, when I binge and purge, it is on an unfathomable amount of calories for the average human being. Not that I count when I do so, but it is probably at LEAST 1000. Tonight, when I got home from the movies, I had an incredible urge just to eat. Is this because I am emotional? Because I am hungry? Because I just want to eat? I have no idea. But I ate a Luna bar and a Larabar. Yes, I have a new obsession with nutrition bars. They're.so.yummy. AND I feel legitimately good about eating them. I consumed about 400 calories. As I mentioned earlier, 9 time out of 10 I eat too much in a day and have to carry them over to tomorrow and subtract from my allotted total. Since I have NO room to spare, these 400 calories today just will have to be chalked up to an overage. I'm sure someone who's actually GOOD at having an eating disorder would purge now or exercise them off tomorrow. If my mom weren't home, I know I'd binge and purge, but chances are that would only leave me feeling fatt(er) and bloated anyway. Disgusting. I have to go easy on myself and just move on. Although maybe I can fit in a few workout minutes before spinning tomorrow to help ease the damage. Gosh, I sound like a mess. I swear I am doing better with the eating disorder. Do I want to lose a few pounds? Abso-freaking-lutely. BUT, I am doing so much better than in the past and am actually doing halfways decent in school. Therefore, I am "fine."